Bangkok: Like a shot of whisky, sharp, dense and burns down the core.
Buckle up, it’s about to get bumpy, Touchdown, Bangkok, Unbuckle, step out, breathe in the chaos, and taxiiiii…..!
Big Mango, I'm here!
Now, in the backseat of the taxi, neon lights flashing.
Maybe I’m a sentimental fool but set aside your moral compass and you can be a winner of any sorts here. Welcome to Bangkok.com! It's a city as inescapable as a hangover after a night of reckless debauchery. A cultural powerhouse. Who hasn't fantasized about ditching their day job for a life of pad Thai and cheap beer? I'm convinced every group chat on Earth has name-dropped this place at least once. It's a city for everyone, from the backpacker seeking adventure to the foodie craving the ultimate street food, or a high roller with a niche itch to be rubbed. The possibilities are endless, it’s a mixed bag, you're bound to see the bizarre, taste the outrageous, and by the end, you'll learn just how far you're willing to go. But for me, at least this time around, it’s all about reliving the old-school charm, the Bangkok of yesteryear. Get lost in the labyrinth of markets, have some spicy curry affairs and hope to catch a glimpse of the city’s vibrant soul.
So here we are, in the belly of the beast, a city so densely packed with food stalls, you could probably find a decent meal just by closing your eyes and pointing. Here every street corner or hole in the wall is a potential culinary adventure. But let’s get real: I’m not here for just any odd meal. I want something special to kick start, something legendary. And that’s where Jay Fai comes in. This culinary rockstar, a street food icon, staying true to what she represents, still behind the stove day in and day out even after receiving the Michelin star for her crab omelet dish. I'm hoping the line outside is worth it. In the meantime, Let's talk toques. Those fancy chef hats, the one that looks like a giant mushroom. Ever notice the folds? Huh? each fold represents a different way the chef can cook an egg. Now, Jay Fai, the legend, she's got a beanie. Just one-fold. A single, defiant fold. I haven't confirmed this with her, mind you, but is it a coincidence? fuck, I don't know. All I can say is, she gave me a look that could've turned a steak into jerky. Anyway, back to the food. I ordered the crab omelet, of course, but I also splurged on a bowl of congee. Let me tell you, the omelet was everything I expected: a fluffy, eggy, burrito looking masterpiece filled with sweet crab meat. But the congee? That is the real star of the show. Like Buster Douglas against Mike Tyson, the unexpected underdog! It was a warm hug on a cold rainy day, comforting and full of flavor, a hidden gem!
Brunch belly full, hitting Khaosan street alias backpacker street alias party street. I want to blend in, be a fly on the wall, watch the carnival of humanity, a nonstop parade of tourists bartering with vendors, a cacophony of languages. Wait a minute! Maybe I'll reconsider the whole 'fly on the wall' thing because seems like the Thai’s have a thing for critters. First, it was bugs on sticks – unsettling enough. But then I saw the reptiles BBQ: snakes to crocodiles! Yeah! I'm starting to think this place is a zoo. But the real show isn't just the food. It's the crowd. From the backpackers slumming it in the economy to the business class champagne sipping honeymooners. There's a whole world of appetites on display here. Whatever you’re craving, this place has got it. It's a riot of sights, smells, flavors and favors that'll keep you coming back.
The sun's doing its dramatic descent, and I've got the VIP seat for the show: The State Tower, straight out of "The Hangover 2." It's not just a bar, it's an open-air theater with Bangkok as the stage, topped off by the Lebua's golden dome towering above it all. And, of course, I'm going to be sipping an emerald-hued drink to remind myself of Ha Long Bay. Bangkok is a wild card, a rollercoaster of contradictions! you can go from chewing down some street meat to dining on foie gras while sweet jazz serenades you over the skyline. I must be doing something right in life, sippin’ champagne! surveying the city's twinkling lights. How does that Biggie Smalls lyrics go, “it’s all good, baby baby!”. Here's the rub about fine dining, it never fills you up. It’s great for the palate but often leaves you wanting more. A culinary foreplay.
Stomach still growling, I need something real, something visceral. Chinatown, here I come. It's like any other night market but the vendors here are packed in like sardines. A place where food and smells are a kaleidoscope of exotic to downright weird. The population density is insane, more people than square foot area, sweaty, chaotic mess. Countless neon signs flickering and the techno noise from DJ traffic feat. Tuk-tuks and oh yeah, the rain! Like the gods want to take a piss at you. It may be an assault on the senses, but it is an intoxicating experience. Sights and smells of Chinese and Thai cuisine just permeating the scene, you are wandering through the maze, always curious about the next hawker. No matter who you are, there's something here to tickle your taste buds. The place keeps growing on you, so much so that I found myself snacking on critters! They’re alright, not the big moist one’s though and when you catch yourself being too adventurous, it's a clear sign to call it a night, avoid any more questionable decisions, and get some sleep.
Day 2:
Let's dive into some culture venture, shall we? Go on an excursion of Ayutthaya? yes! An hour drive north. Ahh the countryside, that earthy smell, green grass, fresh manure, canals and rice fields, a cure for the soul. Stepping back in time when Bangkok was just a twinkle in Ayutthaya's eye! this ancient kingdom dating back to the 14th century was sitting in the middle of India and China, Perfect location for a startup I’d say! It thrived as a trading post until the late 17th century and at its peak, the population was over a million! But now it’s a ghost town, all that remains is the ruins and memories. this destruction is unreal! Every single statue and monument are either burnt or decapitated. There's a melancholy beauty to it, a sense of history and decay. Hard to comparand the real glory days of this place. The Burmese really did a number on Siamese here. Most people bailed, but some stayed, survived, and told these stories. Their food is the only thing that's still the same, take these boat noodles for example, egg and rice noodles swimming in a rich broth with all kinds of protein options from fish balls to pork to shredded chicken, plus pork rinds for crunch and greens for aroma, Traditional, flavorful, and balanced – just like the past kingdom itself. Man, it’s been a scorcher today and now heading back to the new capital hoping to drift into a slow slumber in the taxi but nooooo, of course the battery had to die on me. I wasn't bothered one bit. You know why, the people in the rural areas are the most gracious folks, empathy is in the air here. Just wave your hand, and boom, you're back on the road in no time, lifesavers.
Next stop, the Wat Pho, the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. Now, I'm not exactly a religious person or maybe I’m just in the early Gautama phase but damn, Buddhism is huge here. Since landing in Southeast Asia, I've lost count of the Buddhist temples I've seen. Each one is a testament to the deep devotion people have. The intricate details of the temple architecture, the vibrant murals, and the serene Buddha statues are just captivating. I haven't exactly had a spiritual awakening or anything, but you can't help but appreciate the Buddhist philosophy of suffering, enlightenment, and the interconnectedness of everything. There's definitely a sense of peace in these temples, a beauty in their worship. It’s a way of connecting to something bigger than ourselves, of finding meaning and purpose in this crazy world. Ok, this visit should earn me enough good boy points for rest of the trip.
Time to shift gears from non-violence to violence. Entering the Rajadamnern stadium, the cradle of Muay Thai. A colosseum in the Southeast, where violence isn't just condoned but celebrated. This isn't any rules-heavy MMA; this is raw, unfiltered, just flesh on flesh impact. Look, I may not be the most peaceful guy, but watching a fight cranks up the Chev fucking Chelios in me, his ghost whispering in my ear, "Let go, you bastard." That primordial instinct, an adrenaline flood, dark masochistic psyche, locked in, muscles clinched, epinephrine spiked, an obsessive hubris manifestation. You see, it’s a ballet in the ring, every elbow, every knee thrown, is a step in a dance that's as old as humanity itself. you know what? A cold beer in hand keeps that beast inside me just tame enough to enjoy the show. All good. Capeesh. Thank the lord, the beer is free and unlimited here. I wonder why!? Hmmm! Judging by the crowd, I’m not the only meathead here. The place is packed with gamblers, die-hard fans and those just looking to live through the live action of this ancient art. They come for the sport, yes, but also to cheer the raw display of human spirit and endurance. This national sport is a bloody affair and tonight's no exception. As the fighters give their everything, the crowd roars, and I'm just another face in the sea of spectators, but inside, I'm fucking honored to witness this bloody spectacle. Just a kid in his Disney world. Happy and grateful.
Day 3.
Late morning, eyes blurry, hard to piece together last night's escapade. Got a text from Buddha – “no more 'good boy credits’ buckaroo” Maybe I don't need them anyway; I've danced with the devils beyond redemption by now. It's my last day in Bangkok, and I've witnessed the spectrum of the city's allure. Today, I'm craving something normal. Easy on the body and soul, I yearn for the sanctuary of a good neighborhood, where capitalism holds hands with decency in the temples of shopping malls and sanitized public corridors. Where people line up nicely, follow the rules, and civility reigns supreme. After all the chaos, it's time to embrace something quiet and mellow. Of course, squeeze in a quick three course breakfast in some market in the middle of somewhere. But the destination is Bangkok art and culture center. A place of upcoming, creative and cultured crowd putting in hours, striving not just for personal gain but to push the cultural envelope and excel the nation’s rich artistic heritage. It really inspires an optimistic vision for the future to the see the younger generation of Siam indulged in workshops, classes and libraries here. Even Today’s exhibition material is well above decent! Next door we have the MBK center, Siam paragon and Central world, multi-story megalomaniac shopping fortress for the haves. Never imagined I’d be seeking refuge in some opulent malls, let alone writing about it! But here I am harboring the mundane, to find solace in the simple act of being civil.
At the end of the show, I will admit that I rolled in to Bangkok with a healthy dose of cynicism. ready to mock the new wave of capitalist tourism traps of drugged out tigers, parties only as wild as your bank roll and political shitstorm. Just for context, they crowned a new prime minister in a backroom deal yesterday, August 16th. But now? I couldn't give a flying fuck anymore. The locals have thrown in the towel and who am I to keep beating this dead horse? Under all this circus and beyond its demeanor of excess, Bangkok’s got a soul that's rich with history, a culture that's like a rainbow rabbit hole and culinary steeped in a thick hot broth that could wake the dead. I've realized it's all just part of the ride. Some folks have this place on subscription, and after diving headfirst into this chaos, I start to see the appeal and very much convinced to come back again. See you soon Siam!
“Bang Bang she shot me down
Bang Bang I hit the ground
Bang Bang that awful sound
Bang Bang my baby shot me down…”